A Love Letter to My Hair
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My Dearest Hair,
I’m sorry that it took me so long to love you. I spent so many teenage years wishing my bangs away, wishing that I had curly hair, or wishing that my hair could do that cute swoop thing when flicked back.
I’m sorry that I let my college roommate chop you until there wasn’t much left. Lesson learned. Just because someone’s mom is a hairdresser, it doesn’t make them qualified to cut hair too.
I appreciate that you let me play with colors in my twenties. Sometimes you were blonde, red, dark brown, or streaked with highlights. That was pretty fun. I’m just sad that I felt like I had to because my childhood hairdresser told me that you were “blah and mousey brown.”
It’s been fun putting you up in space buns, ponytails, pigtails, braids, or whatever else we tried together. You were always up for whatever struck my fancy.
It was sad when illness took hold a year ago and you started falling out. That was really scary. But then I started immunotherapy and you handled it like a champ! You bounced back and were longer and fuller than you’ve ever been.
Remember that day we learned that the new chemo came with a 30% chance of hair loss? That was one of our harder days but you (literally) hung in there. We beat the odds!
But now there’s no chance that I’ll get to keep you around as you are. In about 6 weeks, we will (temporarily) say farewell. It’s sad and really, really scary to think about living without you. After all, we’ve been together in some shape or form for 41 years!
Until then, I honor and appreciate you in all of your lengthy, full, rich, beautiful brown with streaks of grey glory. Tomorrow we will take control and practice choice before there is no choice. Tomorrow you will be shortened in an effort to transition. A way to start the process of saying goodbye (for now). There will be grieving and sadness, but mostly, there will be choice and play in tomorrow’s early morning visit to the salon. I look forward to seeing what surprise gift of beauty you bring me tomorrow.
With love,
Jillian
