Hello! 

If you’ve found yourself here then I’m guessing that you are at a crossroads in life. Whether you’re seeking change or change is coming whether you like it or not (which can often be the case in illness), this time of transition can feel confusing and lonely. 

I’m here to tell you that you do not have to do this alone.

I’m a certified Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapist, Culinary Nutritionist, Health Coach, and Educator living with Multiple Myeloma.

I have a passion for learning and sharing, getting creative in the kitchen, and supporting and empowering others while fostering community along the way. When I’m not working, I enjoy getting lost in books, seeking sunshine, geeking out on board games, and hiking with my dog Parker.

Welcome to my virtual community,
Jillian

Health Story.

My personal health journey began in 2012 after my body shut down and forced me to listen. Up until then, I lived a “take pride in running your ass off” kind of life. The kind of life where there was never enough time, I was always on the run, and I chose high-stress work situations. I was constantly pushing the limit and never said no. All while keeping a full social calendar. Sound familiar?

I didn’t take the time to nurture or fuel myself with nutritious food, quality sleep, meditation, somatic practices, or conscious community. My nervous system was shot and I didn't make time to take care of myself. While I saw this as purposeful and driven, in actuality, it was depleting and unsustainable.

My wake-up call came when I was unable to get out of bed one day. Everything hurt, my face was covered in welts, rashes encompassed my body, and I had a high viral load from both pneumonia AND mono (EBV). I had no choice but to pay attention. 

What started as a high viral load soon turned into years of undiagnosed chronic illness with cyclical inflammatory flares where I was in bed for 7-12 days/month. This triggered the mass production of an unwanted monoclonal protein and the frustrating diagnosis of MGUS (monoclonal gammopathy of unknown significance). 

A team of brilliant, caring doctors at the Mayo Clinic AZ listened, heard, and believed me. This was a refreshing change of pace after years of chasing doctors and natural practitioners that had me believing they could cure me and when they couldn’t, I must have just made this all up in my head. I would ultimately be given the diagnoses of acquired angioedema, HUVS (hypocomplementemic urticarial vasculitis), dysautonomia, and cutis laxa (connective tissue disease) which ultimately led to Light Chain Deposition Disease (LCDD) kidney disease and the MGUS turning into Smoldering Myeloma and then Multiple Myeloma. All of this stemmed from a high viral load triggering this abnormal protein to mass replicate.

In late 2020 (a hell of a year for many), a bone marrow biopsy was done. It found that the monoclonal proteins were rapidly mass-producing at numbers 2-3 times what they had been the year prior. The writing was on the wall. It was time to begin the chemotherapy that had been discussed.

In early 2021, a repeat bone marrow biopsy was done with the addition of a kidney biopsy about an hour after (I definitely don’t recommend doing both of these procedures in one day). It was confirmed that while in years past I hadn’t reached the threshold to be clinically diagnosed as multiple myeloma, I now had developed significant kidney damage as a result of the monoclonal proteins (myeloma cells). Thus earning me the added diagnoses of LCDD and Multiple Myeloma.

I began immunotherapy and chemotherapy in March of 2021. I stayed on this regimen for 7+ months (with several bumps and adjustments along the way). It worked until it didn’t. At that point, it was time to take the next step in my blood cancer path. The dreaded stem cell transplant.

On November 12th, 2021, I underwent a stem cell transplant. That’s a whole story of its own and it’s worth telling someday.

For now, all you need to know is that I am no longer symptomatic with angioedema or HUVS, and I don’t spend weeks in bed every month (a major win!). I’m currently in remission and much of the kidney damage has been reversed (another major win!). 

Today I live in that post-treatment period of celebration, anxiety, and stress that cancer will return while trying to navigate the world in a body with fatigue, CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder), and a nervous system in want/need of realignment and regulation.

Life doesn’t magically come back together once a body enters remission. Illness doesn’t magically disappear when your disease is incurable. There are pieces to be picked up and put back together. Lingering side effects and symptoms as a result of illness and treatments. A life exploded ready to return to safety and forward movement.

So Many Promises. So Much Shame.

Throughout that decade of living with illness, I met medical personnel (and former friends and family) who didn’t believe me. They thought I was lazy. They thought I was making it all up in my head. And you know? Sometimes I thought maybe they were right because clearly no one had answers and it wasn’t going away.

Thankfully, I fought to get support for myself. I had the privilege of health insurance, a husband with a supportive income, and living in a cis-gender white body. 

I advocated for myself. I researched everything. I googled everything. I tried as much as I could in Western, functional integrative, holistic, and natural medicines. There was so much pain in feeling like a failure because everything I tried did not lead to the promised results that the internet told me would come. 

On the internet, people were solving their autoimmune diseases by eliminating gluten and dairy. People were “curing” cancer with green juice. People felt more energy than ever with their Ayurvedic cleanse. Some people were magically healed when they got divorced. Others were magically healed when they paid $200/month for a specific supplement.

Everywhere I looked I was surrounded with stories of people being miraculously cured with this ONE thing that only they could sell me. If it worked for them then it had to work for me, right?

I tried. I failed. I tried again. I failed again.

That’s how I took each unsuccessful money and energy pit, as a personal failure. Clearly, there was something wrong with me because it was working for everyone else. Obviously, I didn’t try hard enough. I didn’t search long enough. I didn’t believe in it enough. I didn’t want it enough. I didn’t pay enough.

So. Much. Shame.

10 years into living with illness and I still have these shame-filled messages come up. This is my constant practice both personally and professionally. I want to unravel the shame-filled messages and support others in living their life for today.

My Work.

I want to provide a space for your emotional needs to be met while you both grieve the loss of an old life and find choice in your life today. 

Working with me, you will find a practitioner who does not abide by dogmatic thinking. You want to try bee venom? Great. You want to receive chemotherapy? Great. Those choices are yours and yours alone.

My work (or goal?) is to support you in making choices that align with your values and beliefs today vs. making choices based out of fear tactics and shame.

My goal is to support you in feeling heard and believed so that you don’t bottle it all up and think that you are “crazy.”

My goal is to support you in connecting with your body to be in dialogue with her vs. seeing her as an enemy that has betrayed and attacked you.

My goal is to educate you on your nervous system so that you can tune into her experience and provide her with the interventions that she needs to come back to regulation.

My goal is to be by your side during what can feel like an incredibly isolating experience.

My goal is to witness your tears, anger, laughter, and hope without judgment.

My hope is for you to see all of your many parts as integral pieces that make you whole.

This is what you’ll get in working with me. Someone who has the lived experience of holding illness, grief, and imagination to create a new life that contains joy amidst pain and loss.

Let’s get unstuck together. You do not need to do this alone.

There is power in educating ourselves,  advocating for ourselves, and surrounding ourselves with a supportive community. I am grateful for the opportunity to get to know you, learn with you, and support you through the choices that you make along your journey. I look forward to working alongside you.